Our Growing Trust Deficit

While much attention is focused on America’s rising financial deficit there may be an even more troubling social trend on the rise. According to a recent AP-GfK poll only one-third of our neighbors think we can be trusted. The fact that we live in an increasingly suspicious society isn’t really news to most of us. We’ve all been taken in by the half-truths and blatant untruths that regularly flow from both Madison and Pennsylvania avenues. But it seems even more insidious when we realize we have good reason not to trust the each other. Apparently, we have a pervasive problem with our individual ethics.

The research speaks to a falling off of what is termed “societal trust.” This refers to the common tendency to trust those around us to do the right thing, mean what they say, and keep their commitments. It also assumes that in a given situation, honesty will rule, and the good of the many will drive personal action. In practical terms it means we don’t have to lock our cars when we go into the store, can leave our iPad to reserve a table at Starbucks while ordering our drink, and assume that a briefcase left at the restaurant where we ate lunch will be kept safely until we return to retrieve it. And if you winced at any of those examples, you’re probably part of the 66% who increasingly believe it is unwise to trust people.

The problems that flow from a general lack of trust are many. Without trust there can be no profitable negotiation, no assumption that directives will be carried out, and no certainty that production and efficiency will happen. Without trust there can be no true fiduciary responsibility, and every enterprise that depends on our entrusting something to them will ultimately be degraded. And it goes without saying that an erosion of common, societal trust will leave us even more isolated from one another than we already are.

In every human society relationship is essential. You can’t live without it. Yet, every healthy relationship springs from the soil of trust. Think about it. Businesses flourish because of relationships built on trust, as do sports teams, and families. Marriages that provide long-term joy and safety are trust-dependent and trust-driven. It is not an overstatement to say that trust is to relationship what oxygen is to life. Without we die.

But if we dig down deeper we’ll find that trust is not an end in itself. It rises from something even more fundamental. Trust is the flower that grows on the stem of a radically consistent way of life. You can only trust what you can safely predict when it comes to the way another person will think and act. And this kind of consistency will be evidence that the trustworthy person has, at his or her core, an inviolable belief system composed of propositional truths to which they have made a purposeful commitment. In other words, a worldview that shapes who they are, and who you may safely trust them to be. They are people who possess, and are possessed by, conviction.

The problem we are facing is not merely a diminishing level of societal trust. It is much graver than that. What we are seeing is a pervasive dismantling of the very concepts of right and wrong. Absolute truth has suddenly become passé while pragmatism and relativism have become fashionable. But these can never provide a solid foundation for belief, much less action. And so we watch as America leaves its intellectual and ethical moorings in order to sail on the sea of individualism and tolerance run amok.

It’s time to reconsider our tendency to throw away traditional values. It’s time to reconstitute our fundamental American belief that we are one nation under God, and that God’s Word still provides the best option for creating and maintaining an ethical society that desires to be the best hope of the world. It’s time to recover our convictions. It’s time to become people our clients, neighbors and children can trust. It’s time. Trust me.

The Ethics of Civil Discourse

In the 1988 movie You’ve God Mail Meg Ryan’s character laments over her inability to respond to a mean-spirited conversationalist with equally mean words. At an important point in the movie however, she finds this ability and unleashes on another person some well- deserved animosity. She describes the experience to an online friend like this:

“And an amazing thing happened. I was able, for the first time in my life to say the exact thing I wanted to say at the exact moment I wanted to say it. And, of course, afterwards, I felt terrible, just as you said I would. I was cruel, and I'm never cruel. And even though I can hardly believe what I said mattered to this man - to him, I am just a bug to be crushed - but what if it did? No matter what he's done to me, there is no excuse for my behavior.”

Apparently our society has moved miles past such sentiment. Today it is all the rage to be cruel, hurling personal insults and characterizing opponents in the worst possible way. As never before, civil discourse has eroded into a slough of hateful name-calling and unvarnished disrespect. Worse, those involved seem unashamed to be participants in such a malice-filled, derogatory activity.

We see this everyday as our nation’s leaders harangue about the political topic du jour. More and more we watch any hope of collaborative solutions sink beneath the vitriolic verbal skirmishes that roll like a polluted tide over the very people tasked with finding a way out of our pressing problems.

I also see it in the current theological battles that are raging between those who publicly declare they represent the Prince of peace.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am all for truth. Truth must be unflinchingly presented, promoted, and courageously defended against all attempts to degrade or upend it. But for centuries civilized discourse has been the high road, even among those who disagreed violently, and even harbored personal animosity toward their opponents. The fact is, throughout history the best have known that conversational heat is the enemy of intellectual light.

As a pastor I have had my share of criticism. When you stand and represent  God, and call on people to obey his Word, conflict is inevitable and criticism becomes almost an everyday event. I don’t find this wearying when it comes wrapped in an attitude of partnership, helping us all be better at loving Christ. But when it comes riding in on hateful, angry, and cruel words, it hurts way more than it helps. In fact, it doesn’t help at all.

In the study of logic we learn early on the fallacy known as ad hominem. Literally, “against the man”, this fallacy simply means that demeaning the messenger actually does nothing to falsify the message. Those who can’t argue the issue often resort to attacking those who hold it, as though a person with flaws could not, at the same time, speak the truth.

Frankly, I am sick of it. I am sick of hearing our politicians spew disrespectful garbage about their opponents, on both sides of the aisle. I am sick of hearing pastors and theologians demean the very truth they hold by promoting it with hateful invective aimed at their opponents’ character. And personally, I am weary of being the pin cushion for every disgruntled person who disagrees with my opinions, decisions, or beliefs.

How about we all just take a deep breath, grab a cup of coffee together as intelligent, civilized people, and actually listen to one another before lobbing atomic word bombs at each other’s soul. After all, aren’t we supposed to love our neighbors and our enemies? Seems to me that includes everyone, and – by the way – like it or not, we’re in this together.

Why Diversity Matters

I have often thought, in moments of great frustration, that the world would be a whole lot better if God went ahead and made everyone just like me. After all, I find myself to be right most of the time, and we’d all be in better shape if you all just recognized it and agreed!

Of course my tongue is firmly planted in my cheek. At least I am trying to put it there. At times we all selfishly wish people would just understand us because if they did, they’d agree, right? But when we are being reasonable we all know that diversity is God’s idea, and we’re all better off living in a community that represents the best in human personality and intellect.

Think about what society would be like if everyone were like me, or you. It doesn’t take long to realize that we need what we may not at first appreciate. If all were athletes, where would the great poetry and breakthrough scientific discoveries come from? And if all were artists, who would build the bridges, fix the plumbing, or expand the gourmet world?

And what about diversity in personality? Would you want to live in a world where everyone was an extroverted Type A? or have an organization comprised only of introverted cubicle dwellers?

I started thinking about this while taking some time to read something completely out of my usual field of study. Susan Cain’s new book Quiet explores the needed power of those of us who are introverts. We’re the ones who just wish everyone would stop talking for a minute so we can hear ourselves think. But beyond the validation she gives those of us who prefer intimate conversation to rollicking parties, the book addresses the need every society has for all kinds of talents, personalities, and abilities.

The problem is that we all look at life through our own lens, our own values, our own experiences. The result is that we often begin to think that our lens is the only clear one, our values the only relevant ones, and our own experiences the only valid ones. The older I get the more I realize that God has been working in wonderful ways through people that are different than me, through personalities that enjoy what I dislike, and through the life experiences and lessons that others have learned in ways I never dreamed of.

With Thanksgiving just around the calendar corner perhaps it is time to take a deep breath and recognize that different sensitivities, different personalities, and different abilities are absolutely necessary if we are to grow better, and together, as families, churches, and as a nation.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that truth can now be jettisoned in favor of unity. What it does mean is that diversity can actually help us recognize and hold fast to the truth together, seeing all of its many facets, uses, and ramifications. The fact is we’re all better when we’re all better. And if we’re all going to get better, we have to travel the road in unity, understanding that our diversity is what makes the journey as enjoyable as God meant it to be.

Living Musically

It is becoming more evident everyday. Our society is fracturing into little cliques of discontent. We are becoming a factious people. Cynicism might be nominated as our national hobby, and the criticism it breeds has turned us into a passionate yet mediocre debating society.

We are ready to argue and divide over almost everything. It is my tribe against yours, and our “win at all costs” attitude more often than not outweighs both the validity of our own arguments and seriousness of the topic. I think we are becoming addicted to controversy and corruption. We say we’re shocked by it, but we love it because apart from what is wrong, what is tragic, what is shocking, we might not have anything to discuss.

Okay, I’ll take a deep breath and settle down, but you get the point.

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Kathleen Sebelius, our Secretary of Health and Human Services as she sat, quite composed and civil, before a snarling group of House Representatives. Regardless of her culpability in the matter before the committee, they deported themselves badly. The sarcasm, cynicism, and mean-spirited criticism were certainly not helpful. They repeatedly interrupted her in mid-sentence, and treated her contemptuously, without regard for her years of public service. It was deplorable, and even more so to me because they were representing an overall viewpoint I espouse. While their views may have represented mine, their demeanor certainly did not.

Hold on for a swift change of subjects. I graduated college with a degree in music. It has always been a love of mine, but it also can be a wonderful instructor in the basics of life. For music to engage the soul with lasting effect several disparate things have to come together in unity. Harmony demands diversity. While unison may carry certain pleasing elements, it is the careful wrapping of other notes around the melody that gives it breadth and increased effect. Add to that an effective rhythm, some closely woven dynamics in pace and volume, and pretty soon you have a remarkable experience. And then parcel it out to different instruments and voices, and you’re ready to rent the auditorium and sell tickets.

From music we learn that diversity works for us. Yes, the diverse notes must come together in the right way, at the right angle, and for the right duration. And, yes again, this isn’t easy. But for those who take the time to turn diversity into harmony the effect is powerful and life-giving.

Here’s a challenge. How about you and I make a commitment to live musically this season from Thanksgiving to Christmas? Let’s stop picking fights that really won’t accomplish anything. Let’s find some grand and noble things to talk about with our friends and family. Let’s push back against the love for cynicism that is fast wrapping itself around our collective souls. After all, isn’t smiling and laughing much more fun than snarling? And aren’t discussions about the beauty God has brought into our lives much more rewarding than arguments over things we can’t control anyway?

While we may be on different sides of the isues, I’ll bet Kathleen Sebelius and I agree on one thing that is very important to America. We’ll never get better tearing each other apart. E pluribus unum …”out of the many, one.” Remember that from 4^th grade? Let’s discover it again.