The Downward Pressure of Cognitive Dissonance
The area of neurological science has been responsible for
giving us answers to many of the perplexing, if common, questions that arise in
our daily lives. One that I have often wondered about is the way simple
disagreements can quickly turn into huge arguments, with both sides digging
their heels in to win a prize that ultimately really doesn’t matter. I have
found myself mounting up argument after argument to prove that I’m right when
being right actually doesn’t matter all that much. A recent television
commercial featuring a guy sitting in a café arguing on the phone about the
date a certain popular song first came out made me chuckle because it could
have been me.
Why do we fight so hard to be right? Daniel Goleman, the
father of Emotional Intelligence research chalks it up to “cognitive
dissonance.” This term describes what we feel when something we firmly believe
to be true is suddenly confronted with evidence to the contrary. Take someone
who has been a lifelong Dodger fan. Despite the evidence that Big Blue isn’t
what it once was, Dodger fan will argue all kinds of ways that the Dodgers are
still great, and are just on the verge of greatness. And the more evidence that
mounts to the contrary, the more dissonance there is in his mind between his
convictions and the evidence. This dissonance is hard, if not impossible, to
live with so he must choose one of two courses of action: either change his
convictions, or diminish the evidence. We almost always diminish the evidence,
and this is the path to greater denial, and in situations much more important
that baseball teams, to great ruin.
Cognitive dissonance causes us to become more and more
convinced of what we already believe and find greater and greater ways to
ignore, diminish, or outright mock any evidence to the contrary. We put
ourselves in the position of being unwilling and unable to sincerely accept
evidence that will undermine our position. We become calcified in a position
that may be wrong, but worse, have determined nothing could change our minds.
We do this, says Goleman, in order to live with ourselves. We want consonance
between what we believe and what is true, so we shape all the truth to support
our beliefs. And, as we all know, this is dangerous.
I see it all around me, and I see it in me. But where I see
it most dangerously is in our political dialogue here in America. It is
increasingly evident that Republicans will never give Democrats credit for good
ideas, simply because they are already convinced that they are ruining the
country and life as we know it. The same is true for the Dems. They insist that
the Repubs are ruining the country and life as we know it, and on top of that,
are mean-spirited and ignorant. Of course, the Repubs will have none of that
and insist that the Dems are elitist and socialists and … Get the point.
Despite the evidence – whatever it may be! – each side shapes the evidence to
prove it is right and the others are wrong.
In their book “Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)”, Carol
Tavris and Elliot Aronson do a brilliant job demonstrating the destructive
nature of cognitive dissonance in vital areas of our society including
politics, science, psychology, and law enforcement. The evidence is damning. We
have found the enemy and it is us, if we become so locked into our beliefs that
we loose the ability to honestly assess the evidence.
Even worse, an inability and unwillingness to be honest in
assessing opposing arguments means that we all too often have to diminish the
character of the one bringing it in order to dismiss it to the point where we
retain personal consonance. Herein lies the foundation of hatred, and character
assassination. I greatly fear that the winsome and honoring tenor of our
political discourse, so much a hallmark of America’s democratic history, is
becoming so eroded that one side barely hears the other. We argue for the
cameras rather than shape arguments to help solve problems. It appears that
most of our political speech is intended either to galvanize our supporters, or
embarrass our opponents. And this is filtering down from Washington into the
very fabric of our neighborhoods. Just monitor some of the facebook arguments
and you’ll have to agree. Cognitive dissonance is creating a monster called intolerance
as we become more and more committed to feeling good as we are, rather than
becoming all we could be.
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