Teaching Our Children Well

A favorite song carries the line" teach your children well; their father's hell did slowly go by." And while I don't know the author's intentions here, it seems that he feels the deep passion to improve his children's lives. To teach them to avoid the pitfalls he experienced, the mistakes he made. I think we all feel the same way. That's why it is maddening that too often what we teach our kids in church is both untrue, and unfair to the biblical text.

Several months ago I sat and listened to the President of a national organization whose primary mission is the religious education of children through the church. He spent several minutes detailing the fact that, statistically, 50% of all those who profess faith in Christ during their youth leave the church once they leave home for college.

Unfortunately he only explored one reason for this statistic and I think it was the wrong one. He used the stat as a springboard into a motivational message designed to get us on board with doing a better job discipling children and students so that they will be strong in their faith, and not fall away when they go away. The problem, at least in his mind, was that we didn't "grow" the kids' faith while they were still in the church.

My view is different. First, it is a myth that you can grow faith that isn't present in the first place. No amount of discipleship can make a disciple out of a sinner. Unless the Spirit of God has entered the life, riding in on the Gospel bringing true repentance and saving faith, no amount of training or teaching can increase the amount of "saved-ness" in the person. You can't make an omelette without eggs no matter how good you are in the kitchen.

Second,  the problem isn't a lack of discipleship, it is a lack of gospel. The problem isn't that we don't train our Christian kids well enough. It is that we don't tell them the truth well enough. It is that we do a great job telling they're the focus of God's love, that he loves them and cares for them and is here to protect and provide. He forgives them and basically, is around to make sure they are happy, healthy, and nice little Christians. The problem is they were all born in sin, and we're too afraid to tell them.

I have recently been appalled and angered at the drivel some curriculum companies are offering us as training material for our childrens' ministry. I am almost mad enough to name names, but in order to keep this blog aimed at the right target I'll refrain.

What I have found is that much of the curriculum today gives our children what Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton first termed "moralistic therapeutic deism" in their book Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers. The term refers to the idea that God is here for us, to teach us to live better lives, and to bring about our happiness. He is moral. His ways are therapeutic. And he is God so we are better off following him than other options. This is what religious education has become. We're giving our kids "Jesus as life coach." With Jesus you can be safe, make great decisions, ward off fear and sadness, and always walk in joy! The only problem with this is it isn't true. If it were, there would be no need for the Cross. But alas, sin is real, and it comes pre-installed on every little hard drive in every little child. 


In more practical terms moralistic therapeutic deism looks like this. In the first lesson of one publisher's 2012 Vacation Bible School curriculum the story of Jesus stilling the storm from Mark 4 is taught. And the focus? That Jesus is powerful and comes to give the children peace. He is here for them (therapeutic). His "god-ness" will help them respond the right way when afraid (moralistic and deistic). Really? That's what Mark wanted to impress on his readers? Then why did he end the story with the disciples saying "What kind of man is this that even the wind and the waves obey him?"


Here's the problem. We start our children's religious education with the idea that God is here for them. He is loving and powerful and wants to protect them, help them, give them peace, and even will forgive their "mistakes" ("sin" is such a scary word!). What child doesn't want this? So they jump on the Bible Bus and away we go, with impressive numbers of children who profess, get baptized, and earn new Bibles and patches and badges and other spiritual ornaments. 


But along comes middle school and high school and circumstances and the chaos of this sin-drenched, broken world. Moms get cancer. Dads lose jobs. Kids mock and are mean. Life gets hard. So, where is this God who is here to give me peace? How come now I'm being told that I have all these rules to keep? What changed? First you tell me I'm the focus of God's love, and now you tell me I have to earn it? What kind of a bait and switch is this? And besides, I look around at my parents and the adults in the church and none of them have answers to the real stuff of life either! You've been lying to me! As soon as I leave this house, I'm leaving church too, and good riddance.


Okay, so maybe I've gone a bit too far, been a bit too general, and even harsh. But remember, I'm mad. I'm mad that we don't think the stories in the Bible have the same meaning for kids as they do for parents. The story of Jesus and the storm isn't about the disciples or their peace. It isn't about Jesus being there for us, or that "with Jesus in the boat we can sail through the storms of life." It is about the deity of Jesus Christ, the Lord of all creation. It is about us being completely dependent upon him. It is about a demonstration of the divine power that will be necessary to bring about the renewal of creation at the end of the age. Its about the disciples realizing that what they really deserved was to drown, and that only the power and undeserved love of Jesus Christ can save them from the wrath of the sea. 


If it is true that Jesus loves children, then we should as well. And if it is true that the gospel is the power of God for salvation, then we should love the children enough to give them the gospel. And if there isn't a curriculum out there that presents the gospel (yes, I know there are some!) then we should write one. And if some get mad about not having the glossy booklets, full-color pictures, or inane stories and crafts, just tell them we're doing what we can to improve the statistics so our ministry can look better. Better yet, just tell them we're concerned about how we look in God's eyes. After all, these children are his gifts in the first place. 


If we began our children's religious education with the truth about almighty God, and their sin, and the absolute necessity of repentance and faith, maybe we could make the gospel clear enough for the non-elect to reject it. And that would sure help the statistic.


Hope this makes you think,


David